Day Two...

More flu.

Yuck.

Confidential to Mr. Senior Bossman Jerkwad

You know what, douchebag? I came into work after a day and a half of stomach flu because I have Friday scheduled off, and I felt bad about missing two whole days. You know what would have been nice? "Are you feeling better?" "You OK?" "I appreciate you coming in."

NOT immediately launching into "There's a serious bug and you need to fix it now."

When I had the bug fixed within ten minutes, you know what else would have been nice? "Good job!" "Thanks for getting that fixed so quickly!"

NOT the accusing "Now I'm going to have to recompile the code for QA and turn in new copysheets."

ASSHAT!

Hey, and harping me about not having the SQL turned in to the DBA? Remember when I kept reminding you that I needed to do that, and you insisted that tasks X and Y were higher priority? You don't just get to turn around now and bitch that I don't have that done.

...Oh wait, you do, because you're the senior and I'm just the lowly programmer. *seething*

Public apology for "Pushing Daisies"

I am so, so sorry. I love your quirkiness, your deadpan delivery, your surreal "Big Fish" imagery, your eclectic cast (Swoosie Kurtz! Ellen Greene! Chi McBride!).

My love is going to kill you so dead, so quickly. I am the anti-demographic.

Please accept my sincere, heartfelt condolences in advance.