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grammarwomanA few nights ago, the husband and I were talking to the Emperor’s day-care teacher during pick-up. She commented that he’d had a good day, aside from needing to have his group spot moved to the middle of the circle so he’d stop poking his neighbors. (That would be a “my son” problem, as I am relentlessly tactile with close friends and family. I think I pet the Emperor more often than the dog.)
She also brought up that she was starting to have some difficulties keeping him in sync academically, as he’s mastered the alphabet and the numbers 1-40 way ahead of many of his classmates, and the school’s mandate is to teach to the highest levels in the classroom. She thinks he’ll be reading soon and maybe even branching into multiplication. She mentioned that we must have worked with him a lot at home, to which we replied rather sheepishly that, no, not really, we just read to him quite a bit and talk with him. I managed to blurt out something to the effect that my husband and I are both gifted, so we’re pleased to see that he’s showing all the signs, too, and that we know all about busting the bell curve.
It’s such an awkward subject, you know? Even just posting this here with you guys, I feel all squirmy and “aw, shucks” even mentioning the word “gifted”. How do you mention in casual (or otherwise) conversation that you and your husband are both really smart, and that you met in a high school for really smart people, without coming off as raging egotists? To me, it’s just a part of who I am, nothing that I worked especially hard at or particularly earned. But I don’t want to be falsely modest about it or discount it, because I’m not willing to play dumb for conformity’s sake. I also do not want the Emperor to have to live through the negative experiences his parents have had, if we can avoid it. As much as I would love to think that his academic success is a result of our awesome parenting, I’m much more inclined to suspect that nature is winning through here, and that for once, his genetic inheritance is actually beneficial (I’m looking at you, defective ears/eyes/immune system!). (Of course, I’m also hoping that I’m not completely jinxing things. What if I’m jumping the gun and making unwarranted assumptions about his abilities? Or some random horrible accident happens? *deep breath* Not going there.)
So now I’m pondering just how much we should bring up with future teachers. Do we state up front, “Hey, we’re gifted, and so is our son”, and risk prejudicing the teacher against him and us? Or will the teacher be appreciative and say “Thanks for the info! This will help me fine-tune my approach to his education.”? Do we count on teacher evaluations to follow him through his academic career to spread the word for us? Do we tell the teacher “I’m sorry to add to your work level, but chances are you’ll really need to push him, or he’ll get bored and bad things may ensue.”?
I would love to hear from the parents, teachers, and others out there who have some experience with this.
She also brought up that she was starting to have some difficulties keeping him in sync academically, as he’s mastered the alphabet and the numbers 1-40 way ahead of many of his classmates, and the school’s mandate is to teach to the highest levels in the classroom. She thinks he’ll be reading soon and maybe even branching into multiplication. She mentioned that we must have worked with him a lot at home, to which we replied rather sheepishly that, no, not really, we just read to him quite a bit and talk with him. I managed to blurt out something to the effect that my husband and I are both gifted, so we’re pleased to see that he’s showing all the signs, too, and that we know all about busting the bell curve.
It’s such an awkward subject, you know? Even just posting this here with you guys, I feel all squirmy and “aw, shucks” even mentioning the word “gifted”. How do you mention in casual (or otherwise) conversation that you and your husband are both really smart, and that you met in a high school for really smart people, without coming off as raging egotists? To me, it’s just a part of who I am, nothing that I worked especially hard at or particularly earned. But I don’t want to be falsely modest about it or discount it, because I’m not willing to play dumb for conformity’s sake. I also do not want the Emperor to have to live through the negative experiences his parents have had, if we can avoid it. As much as I would love to think that his academic success is a result of our awesome parenting, I’m much more inclined to suspect that nature is winning through here, and that for once, his genetic inheritance is actually beneficial (I’m looking at you, defective ears/eyes/immune system!). (Of course, I’m also hoping that I’m not completely jinxing things. What if I’m jumping the gun and making unwarranted assumptions about his abilities? Or some random horrible accident happens? *deep breath* Not going there.)
So now I’m pondering just how much we should bring up with future teachers. Do we state up front, “Hey, we’re gifted, and so is our son”, and risk prejudicing the teacher against him and us? Or will the teacher be appreciative and say “Thanks for the info! This will help me fine-tune my approach to his education.”? Do we count on teacher evaluations to follow him through his academic career to spread the word for us? Do we tell the teacher “I’m sorry to add to your work level, but chances are you’ll really need to push him, or he’ll get bored and bad things may ensue.”?
I would love to hear from the parents, teachers, and others out there who have some experience with this.
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Date: 2008-06-05 04:30 pm (UTC)I think it’s fine to let the Emperor and his teachers know that you suspect that he’s gifted. Granted, they’ll figure it out themselves as soon as they test the hell out of him like they did to us.
Personally, I wouldn’t squirm one bit. If there is something that I learned more than anything else from my “gifted” experiences, the label and abilities don’t equal success (I suspect that the Emperor’s father feels the same way). No matter what genetic advantages his brain has, it always comes down to hard work and discipline. That’s where the parenting comes in. You are the ones who create the safe, supportive environment for him to thrive.
You guys are awesome parents; don’t feel guilty about the genetics.