Working for the long weekend
Sep. 3rd, 2015 10:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grammarwomanThe vet's office called earlier this week, letting us know that Mika's ashes were ready to be picked up. This afternoon I retrieved the Emperor from his after-school program and went to get them. He was very sweet, wrapping his arms around me and looking up with a very serious expression, as I struggled to get through the paperwork and bill without completely breaking down. Bringing home her ashes makes her death seem so final, like she's just been somewhere else for all this time, but now I have to face the fact that she's really gone. I miss her with almost everything I do at home. When I come downstairs in the morning or get home from work, there's no fuzzy girl to coax outside. When I eat pizza or slice up some chicken to pack in my lunch, there's no vocal dog begging for scraps. Every time I walk by the living room, I glance in the bay window where her perch was, only to be reminded that she's not there to fill it any more.
This weekend I'm hoping to get some cleaning done as the first step for getting the house ready to bring home another dog. Plus, the carpet in the living is kinda gross at this point, what with the effects of an elderly dog who wasn't too aware about where she relieved herself. I just have to get over the feeling that I'm betraying her memory by wiping away the signs of her life here.
Work has been annoying. I feel like I have to fight for every scrap of information I can get; I think they forget that since I'm a remote worker, I'm not there for their meetings or hallway chats or lunchroom discussions. I'd be happy to make the necessary changes, if people only let me know what the hell they were. Knowing why, or who made the decisions, would be a pleasant bonus.
I have the tiniest bit of disappointment that I'm not going to Dragon*Con this weekend, but I desperately need a weekend at home to sleep and recoup, so I'm grateful to get three days to do so. The Emperor is in his third week of school already, and I still haven't managed to adjust my bedtime to the earlier wake-up.
TGTF, y'all.
This weekend I'm hoping to get some cleaning done as the first step for getting the house ready to bring home another dog. Plus, the carpet in the living is kinda gross at this point, what with the effects of an elderly dog who wasn't too aware about where she relieved herself. I just have to get over the feeling that I'm betraying her memory by wiping away the signs of her life here.
Work has been annoying. I feel like I have to fight for every scrap of information I can get; I think they forget that since I'm a remote worker, I'm not there for their meetings or hallway chats or lunchroom discussions. I'd be happy to make the necessary changes, if people only let me know what the hell they were. Knowing why, or who made the decisions, would be a pleasant bonus.
I have the tiniest bit of disappointment that I'm not going to Dragon*Con this weekend, but I desperately need a weekend at home to sleep and recoup, so I'm grateful to get three days to do so. The Emperor is in his third week of school already, and I still haven't managed to adjust my bedtime to the earlier wake-up.
TGTF, y'all.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-09-04 01:00 pm (UTC)I just have to get over the feeling that I'm betraying her memory by wiping away the signs of her life here.
We buy fresh flowers every week in honor of our much missed dogs. It's nice to see them on the counter above the sink and remember the good times.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-09-04 01:41 pm (UTC)That's a really sweet gesture with the flowers. I should think about doing something like that.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-09-04 06:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-09-04 06:56 pm (UTC)We're living in the future - where's our pet cloning technology? Because this grief sucks. At least I haven't encountered any asshats questioning why I'm still hurting.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-09-07 06:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-09-08 01:20 pm (UTC)The long and lazy weekend was necessary, though I've gotten so used to being busy that I had to remind myself a couple times that I was relaxing on purpose.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-09-10 02:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-10-01 11:43 pm (UTC)I hope you're doing better. I know it's hard to lose a member of the family, but I'm sure she'd want you to move on, to have someone furry to love you.
Ugh. Your work is the worst. I hope the communication gets sorted out for you. <3333
(no subject)
Date: 2015-10-02 04:38 pm (UTC)I don't know if she actually would want us to get another dog - she certainly hated other canines enough when she was around, heh.
The communication thing is my biggest issue, and I'm so tired of my boss saying that the onus is on me to keep reaching out. ARGH.