Battle Royale (with pleas)

[grammarwoman]

I suspect that a primary component of the Terribleness attributed to a toddler's Twos is the Independent phase.

The Emperor's new favorite phrase is "I can do it!", usually invoked in an activity that we'd like to get done Right Now, and he wants to put off until, oh, does next week work for us? The worst is bedtime, when we're putting him into his PJs. Two nights ago, the husband was off helping out at the house of delilahbean, so I got to do daycare pickup, dinner, and bedtime all by myself. At sleepytime, the Emperor, clad in nothing but a diaper, staunchly insisted that he could put on his own pajamas -- "My shirt! My pants!" However many times I agreed that he could do it, but that he needed to do it NOW, he just gave me a stinker grin and waved the separate clothing components about in the air (for lo, he did indeed not care). Any attempt I made to grab the clothes away from him and put them on him invoked screaming and peeling them right off again. It took several iterations of dumping him in his crib sans clothes and walking away to get it through to him that normally easygoing Mommy had completely lost her patience. Then, I had to wait until I actually heard wails coming from his room (not from me leaving so much as from his frustration that he couldn't climb out of his crib without discomfort) until he was chastened enough to actually don the damned garments.

Last night went a little better, but we still had to repeat the steps with the crib and the walking away. Hopefully tonight the Emperor will understand that We Mean Business, and just put his jammies on right away.

I realize this is an important step in his development, and yes, I would appreciate him being able to dress himself. The waiting involved, though, is driving me nuts.

Comments

[samwize.livejournal.com]

This might help. (http://eddirt.frozenreality.co.uk/index.php?id=336)

[grammarwoman]

Terrible. *grin* But that still wouldn't help with the tearing off of the clothes.

[samwize.livejournal.com]

just need more tape

[amblypygid.livejournal.com]

My sympathies. I had one in this stage and the other in the "you do it" stage (as in, you do every tiny little thing for me, including breathing if I can get you to) at the same time. Both drove me up a wall.

[chelleg1977.livejournal.com]

When Kaitlyn is taking her own sweet time doing something she knows I want her to do (getting in her car seat, changing her diaper or clothing), I give her the count of 3. If she hasn't succumbed to my request by the count of 3, she knows that I *am* going to forcibly help her do whatever it is I want done. Works like a charm.

Our ped recommended the book 1 2 3 Magic which appears to model a similar theory though I haven't finished reading it.

[celaenos-aerie.livejournal.com]

I remember that from my own childhood, and especially with my father. I had forgotten it just until now, but I bet I could deliver the line with exactly the same inflection and pacing that he used to use.

One . . .
Two . . .
Two and a haaaaaaalf . . .
Three. *completes task at hand, appearing to ignore all input from child*


The other line (again, from dad) that I remember most from approximately that age was "Are you crying to get your way?" It was delivered very calmly, but with the gimlet eye of I know what you're up to, and I'm not falling for it.

[grammarwoman]

Oh believe me, 1 2 3 gets plenty of play around here. With this, I practically wore out the numbers 1-3, before realizing that he wasn't going to do anything without a fight.

[chelleg1977.livejournal.com]

This is probably what I have to look forward to as Kaitlyn nears age 3. :) 1 2 3 is still new stuff for us. :D She does have fits and fight sometimes if I help her after counting, but I just ignore her. Of course, if he is going to keep pulling his clothes off regardless ... hard to ignore.

[aabassplayer.livejournal.com]

My parents used the count to three method, too...

Interestingly, we were just discussing that this weekend, as the guests that weekend had two kids, and she didn't have the count to three philosophy. Basically, (luckily, their kids are old enough to understand) if they want something done, it will be done...if it's not done on the count of 1, it's unacceptable. They instead make it clear what they want their children to do, and the children do it. There's a weekly family meeting where the children can then air their greivances regarding things that they had to do that they didn't wish to do.

Interesting idea....not sure if I agree or not...but thought it was interesting none-the-less.

[chelleg1977.livejournal.com]

I love the idea of allowing (older) children to explain their case and request different treatment, as long as they're doing so without whining/crying/whatever.

I want to get to the point where my daughter does what I ask her to do on the first request without fight, but for now, it is much more enjoyable to give her those 10 or 15 seconds to process what I'm asking and that I'm not going to let her have her way, so that I don't have to listen to as much fit throwing. I'm all about less fit throwing.

[aabassplayer.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a good approach since it usually takes that time (10-15 seconds) for us to process that what we thought was going to happen next isn't what really needs to happen next, and to switch gears....very nice!

[hecateuse.livejournal.com]

See, I would've just let the kid sleep naked.

*shrug* I'm lazy that way. Plus, it's hot out!

[grammarwoman]

Not in our house -- I require 72 degrees to sleep. I'm a spoiled brat like that.