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Ready for a long weekend
Aug. 30th, 2013 12:34 pmIt's been a weird week for me. Work has been lovely and quiet, with a glacially slow queue of requests, so I've been able to catch up on everything that got backlogged with my con weekend. I'm enjoying the heck out of people's renewed efforts to post more often; it feels like old times. The conference at the Emperor's school yesterday went well, and he seems to be in good hands.
But it's also been really hard in other ways. I strained or otherwise tweaked something in my upper back, so it's been sore for days now and getting better too damned slowly. I'm trying be patient with the husband's job search, or lack thereof, while also being anxious about pondering a job switch myself. We've got home repairs looming, new windows and exterior painting, that keep getting pushed off, when I just want them DONE already.
But the biggest thing has been my due date that came and went this week; emotionally, I'm still getting over the loss. I've stopped checking FB on any kind of regular basis so I don't have to see people announcing pregnancies, or posing with their new babies, or getting on with their seemingly charmed lives. I still cringe at going through store ads with baby sections. I have to put on a stoic face every time my coworker talks about his pregnant teenage daughter and her upcoming delivery.
I've been putting off going back to the infertility clinic, what with my weight gain and my dread of going the whole process again with even worse odds, but I think I need to, if only to get unstuck and start moving on.
I've also been poking at ideas for a vid, about miscarriage and loss and other problems on the path to motherhood, but I can't tell if it's rubbing salt in the wound or will wind up being therapeutic.
I hope this long weekend lets me displace my frustrations into attacking the craphole that my house has become. Getting off the damned couch should solve several problems at once.
I hope you all have an enjoyable weekend full of good things.
But it's also been really hard in other ways. I strained or otherwise tweaked something in my upper back, so it's been sore for days now and getting better too damned slowly. I'm trying be patient with the husband's job search, or lack thereof, while also being anxious about pondering a job switch myself. We've got home repairs looming, new windows and exterior painting, that keep getting pushed off, when I just want them DONE already.
But the biggest thing has been my due date that came and went this week; emotionally, I'm still getting over the loss. I've stopped checking FB on any kind of regular basis so I don't have to see people announcing pregnancies, or posing with their new babies, or getting on with their seemingly charmed lives. I still cringe at going through store ads with baby sections. I have to put on a stoic face every time my coworker talks about his pregnant teenage daughter and her upcoming delivery.
I've been putting off going back to the infertility clinic, what with my weight gain and my dread of going the whole process again with even worse odds, but I think I need to, if only to get unstuck and start moving on.
I've also been poking at ideas for a vid, about miscarriage and loss and other problems on the path to motherhood, but I can't tell if it's rubbing salt in the wound or will wind up being therapeutic.
I hope this long weekend lets me displace my frustrations into attacking the craphole that my house has become. Getting off the damned couch should solve several problems at once.
I hope you all have an enjoyable weekend full of good things.
