Happiness has no guarantees

Two weeks ago, as a lovely birthday present, I found out I was pregnant. Three blood tests in a row confirmed rising hCG levels.

Because of my past history, I didn't let myself get more than optimistically hopeful.

This morning's sonogram revealed nothing. As in, no gestational sac, no fetus, no signs of pregnancy. There was a possible shadow of where something might have been. The bruise from my last blood test will probably last longer than the pregnancy did.

The extra embryos from my IVF procedure did not progress, so there are no spares in the freezer. I will have to go through IVF all over again if we want to make another try.

I am so grateful that I have the Emperor and my husband. But I really wanted this baby, too.