Awkward question post

[grammarwoman]

Please forgive me if this comes off sounding ignorant or dismissive, but: how does one get into therapy? I mean, the why/how/whos of it all. Is it to talk to someone who won't judge you, and how is that different from talking to a close friend? Do they give you advice? How do you find one? How do you know you've reached a tipping point that it's a good idea to get one?

The fertility clinic suggested that I talk to someone about donor eggs; I assume that's because they can give me some more medical information, as well as tools and scripts for the future.

But I also want to find a therapist for the Emperor, hopefully someone with experience working with gifted kids who can help him with his presumed spontaneous existential depression, or what we've taken to referring as his Bad Thoughts: what's the point of life if everyone's going to die? How can we be happy? How do we find meaning?

This self-awareness thing can be a royal pain in the ass.

Comments

Re: content note for frank discussion of depression and suicidality

[harempriestess]

Everything above is what I was going to say!! ;)

I truly believe that therapy is hugely responsible for my continuing existence, amongst other things. But without it I wouldn't be functioning as well as I am now.

They're not being a part of your social life is a huge part. Not only are you having to deal with your friends reactions to what you're going through, you also have to deal with advice from incredibly well-meaning but often times completely clueless people. I've got chronic, severe clinical depression and a raft of personality issues due to it and my upbringing. Therefore while I understand being depressed, I have absolutely no idea what it means to be depressed in regards to what you've been going through.

Ask doctors you trust, even friends perhaps. And much like depression meds, the first or second or even the third therapist may not be quite right. That can cause some hassles but in my experience you usually know it's not a good fit by the end of the first session.

Sometimes talking to a friend or family member can be good, especially when you simply need someone to cry to or vent to or what not. But therapists have studied this stuff, and can give advice, give you tools. It all sounds cliche but honestly, I learned so many new ways to do things in therapy that I'd never thought of before and that without I wouldn't be feeling hopeful for the future.

His school might also be a good place to inquire for the Emperor. It's sad they don't have more direct access to therapists or counselors at school, but they often at least know where to start.

Consider that first session a kind of two-way interview. They want to get into why you need help, but you have to learn where they're coming from, what their background is. For example, due to my complete lack of any connection to religion, when a therapist said something "inspirational" and god-related, I knew she wasn't for me (for many reasons to numerous to list and which are completely irrelevant to this). But it could also be personality-based, or they're not having experience with issues similar to yours.

And sometimes, they do judge you. And sometimes they have to call you on your crap if it's causing you to stay stuck. They may do it in a number of ways, though mine literally called me out like my Mom would. And a child psychologist will know how to do it with kids better than a general psychologist.

It's awkward at times, but honestly, problems of all shapes (size doesn't count here; if you need therapy, you need therapy) can be helped with therapy, I honestly believe that.

And good luck with whatever you choose to do <3

Re: content note for frank discussion of depression and suicidality

[grammarwoman]

Oh my goodness, this is all so incredibly helpful - thank you so much! I will be referring back to this as we go through the process.