Awkward question post

[grammarwoman]

Please forgive me if this comes off sounding ignorant or dismissive, but: how does one get into therapy? I mean, the why/how/whos of it all. Is it to talk to someone who won't judge you, and how is that different from talking to a close friend? Do they give you advice? How do you find one? How do you know you've reached a tipping point that it's a good idea to get one?

The fertility clinic suggested that I talk to someone about donor eggs; I assume that's because they can give me some more medical information, as well as tools and scripts for the future.

But I also want to find a therapist for the Emperor, hopefully someone with experience working with gifted kids who can help him with his presumed spontaneous existential depression, or what we've taken to referring as his Bad Thoughts: what's the point of life if everyone's going to die? How can we be happy? How do we find meaning?

This self-awareness thing can be a royal pain in the ass.

Comments

[princessofgeeks]

I found a therapist by asking a doctor I knew if she would recommend anyone. If you know people who are in therapy, you can ask them if they like their therapist or would recommend them.

Therapy for children is a specialty -- I'd ask the school counselor if they know anyone, or the pediatrician, or the suggestion for the IEP team is good too.

I went to therapy two different times -- once because I was miserable and in a bad marriage and could not figure out how to get out of it or what was wrong with my life. The therapist I saw was very eclectic in her approach. But cognitive behavioral therapy, as others have said, is great for dealing with a person's habitual patterns and breaking out of them. The second time it turned out it was my husband who needed the ongoing appointment, not me. :)

I enjoyed having someone's undivided attention who could deal with my stuff in a professional way. If you vent to friends or family it's hard for them to remain detached. She really helped me understand some misconceptions I had about life and relationships, and some bad patterns I had gotten into because of my childhood. Not all therapy delves into your history, though -- the more "here and now" approaches can be very good.

For your son, I think you summed it up exactly that someone smart and prone to "big picture" thinking starts asking these questions about the meaning of life -- they are huge and important questions. Some people deal with them through religious faith, but there are also other approaches, some of which center around the idea that just because something is transient doesn't make it less valuable or meaningless.

I am hoping the best for all of you!!!

[grammarwoman]

Thank you! I really appreciate hearing about your experience, and the advice. :)