How to ruin an afternoon in two emails

[grammarwoman]

A week ago, the Emperor woke up early with a horrible cough, but he assured me that he could handle school. The school nurse called me a couple of hours later with the news that he had a 100.8 degree fever, and that I needed to take him home. I'm very lucky that my boss is flexible and my laptop is portable, so I worked from home the next couple of days as he recovered from the fever/coughing/tummy bug that laid him low.

However, returning to school after a five day binge on TV and videogames did nothing for his social skills success; he cried most of the way home when I told him that not meeting his goal still meant no privileges. He was tired out of his gourd and hotly denying it, too. (Kid, I've been your mom for your whole life; I know what you sound like when you're tired.) I didn't even rub it in when he fell asleep buried in his couch cushion cocoon ten minutes after getting home.

Yesterday he was very proud of himself to have made his goal. I was glad to hear that he was back on track.

Then today I got an email from the teacher informing me that he's leaving important work in his desk instead of bringing it home, and he's still being disruptive in class and is falling behind other kids because he can't pay attention the first or second time something is explained. As I was composing a reply to that letter, another email from the teacher showed up, this time letting me know that he hadn't bothered working on the class holiday craft, so he wouldn't have that to share with us.

I guess I haven't been keeping an eye on my "CAN" levels, because that second email literally reduced me to tears. I feel like such a shitty parent when I've got nothing left to tell the teacher about how to handle my son. I don't even know if ADHD medication would help at this point, considering that he throws up any pills other than his multivitamin.

I know part of my over-reaction is the looming menace of my period, but goddamn, I'm feeling really low right now.

Comments

[synecdochic]

woe! sorry, i should've already realized you would have tried it :)

(and unlike the cat, you can't exactly hide the pill in treats or the liquid in tuna water!)

[grammarwoman]

Heh, I just had a chuckle over the betrayed look (followed immediately by puking) I'd get if I tried to feed him tuna water. Given his choice, he'd probably take medicine.

He's not precisely a supertaster, but he definitely catches when I try to alter his normal menu. He has Opinions on everything from mac and cheese (Kraft or nothing) to the acceptable store brands of 2% milk (Meijer). Those cookbooks that suggest sneaking pureed veggies in food never had a kid like him in their focus groups. I dunno if it's a facet of his ASD, or inheriting his dad's sensory defensiveness, but it severely limits what he'll even try.

[synecdochic]

ugh, that sucks!

i'm a mild supertaster myself, and i definitely feel for him. it took me years to figure out what tastes i was likely to enjoy (sweet, salty, umami) and what i wasn't (sour and bitter; anything even remotely bitter will make me nope right the fuck out of there and sour just sets my teeth on edge). i hope you can figure out a way to deal with things...

[grammarwoman]

Thanks! It doesn't help at all that he decides ahead of time if he's going to like something or not, which defeats the purpose of trying new things. It's pretty rare that we can add something new to his accepted menu.

[synecdochic]

that definitely sounds like a challenge. i consider myself pretty lucky i manage to be as adventurous as i am by now, but it definitely took a while to get there. here's hoping he loses a bit of that neophobia as time goes on!