recessional: a photo image of feet in sparkly red shoes (Default)
M ([personal profile] recessional) wrote in [personal profile] grammarwoman 2014-09-05 04:04 am (UTC)

content note for frank discussion of depression and suicidality

Mleh. I am too braindead to work out the words for answers to your other questions, so I hope someone else will come along, but I sort of have words for one of them (as I have recently explained myself on the subject to someone else), so I'll toss them out:

and how is that different from talking to a close friend?

They're not part of your life or social circle, so you don't have to think about the impact of what you're saying: you can talk really freely because it literally doesn't MATTER what they think of you qua you.

I'll go with a really stark example: when I am badly depressed, I am suicidal. Talking to friends about this, I have to deal with a bunch of shit. I have to deal with their distress and worry. I have to deal with their potential guilt. I have to deal with the fact that this conversation will continue to be a context for how they treat me for weeks if not months if not longer, because "at risk of killing herself" is going to be something they think about - have to think about. Are they agreeing to help me with something because they ACTUALLY have the time/energy/interest, or because they're worried about me? Etc.

But I'd still like to unburden myself about how messed up it is I'm constantly bombarded by [image/scenario], or how difficult it is to plan when my brain keeps tossing up "or you could kill yourself" as a viable option, etc, etc. Psych is a safe place to do that because it doesn't matter what she does, thinks, says or believes outside of the hour I spend in her office.

Mental health professionals aren't actually part of your life. You don't have to deal with them as a part of your general social fabric - and it can be surprising to discover just how much one HAS been self-editing, or eliding, or so on, because "won't judge me" isn't the same as "this admission won't have an impact on my relationship(s)".

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